Christian Clean Jokes Continued
Our church was saddened to learn this week of the death of one of our most valued members, Someone Else. Someone's passing creates a vacancy that will be difficult to fill. Else has been with us for many years and for every one of those years, Someone did far more than a normal person's share of the work. Whenever there was a job to do, a class to teach, or a meeting to attend, one name was on everyone's list, "Let Someone Else do it." Whenever leadership was mentioned, this wonderful person was looked to for inspiration as well as results; "Someone Else can work with that group."
It was common knowledge that Someone Else was among the most liberal givers in our church. Whenever there was a financial need, everyone just assumed Someone Else would make up the difference.
Someone Else was a wonderful person; sometimes appearing superhuman. Were the truth known, everybody expected too much of Someone Else. Now Someone Else is gone! We wonder what we are going to do. Someone Else left a wonderful example to follow, but who is going to follow it? Who is going to do the things Someone Else did?
When you are asked to help this year, remember -- we can't depend on Someone Else anymore.
Acting Up In Church
One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle.
Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out.
Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"
Things You Never Hear in Most Churches
Hey! It's MY turn to sit on the front pew!
I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went over time 25 minutes.
Personally, I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
I've decided to give our church the $500.00 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
Forget the denominational minimum salary: let's pay our pastor so she/he can live like we do.
I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!
Since we're all here, let's start the worship service early!
Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
Hopefully you've enjoyed these Christian clean jokes. Come back often for updates. Check out our other joke pages for more of the same.