Christian Jokes



These really can't be considered Christian jokes. However, even though they're not technically Christian jokes, they're clean and they're still good for a laugh. Enjoy!

"I want to point out, because of Passover, no Jewish writers were used in the preparation of tonight’s monologue. We only used free-range Christian writers."

-Jay Leno

"Earlier today, the president of Iran announced that he’s going to free the British hostages as an early Easter gift. As an extra bonus, the Iranian president said he’s going to throw in a case of marshmallow Peeps."

-Conan O'Brien

"The talking car "Kit” from the TV show "Knight Rider” is up for sale. The owner’s selling it because they couldn’t get rid of that "Hasselhoff-y” smell."

-Craig Ferguson

"As you know, in college basketball, UCLA lost to Florida 76 to 66. This is the biggest disappointment for UCLA basketball since last year when they lost to Florida."

-Jay Leno

""Wrestlemania 23” — they are calling this one the "Battle of the Billionaires.” Because Donald Trump made a bet with Vince McMahon the owner of WWE . . . Whoever loses has to shave his head . . . It kinda makes sense cause I think Trump won his hair in some sort of wrestling match."

-Craig Ferguson

"Thank goodness it’s spring. If you’re from out of town, here’s a good way to tell it’s spring. The carjackers come in through the sunroof. "

-David Letterman

"Sunday is April Fool’s Day. So that means earlier today, a confused President Bush went around the White House hiding colored eggs."

-David Letterman

"Did you watch "American Idol” last night? Sanjaya is still on! How is this happening? No matter how horrible he does, he gets voted back. He’s like the George Bush of "American Idol."

-Jay Leno

"Do you hear that the NHL is considering banning fighting in ice hockey? That’s the only way to make ice hockey less popular than it is now. Hockey without fights is like NASCAR without mullets."

-Craig Ferguson

"As you know, Democratic speaker of the house, Nancy Pelosi, went to Syria and she said she found some common ground to talk about with the Syrians. I guess they told each other Bush jokes for a few hours."

-Jay Leno

"Great day for Britain. Iran has released the hostages. The president of Iran said it was an Easter holiday gift. In the spirit of Easter, he’s going to hide the hostages all around Britain, and then Tony Blair gets to keep the ones he finds."

-Craig Ferguson

"The Vatican may canonize Pope John Paul II because since he’s passed away, people have been praying to him and he’s already been credited with three miracles. So far, the Pope’s biggest miracle has been keeping Sanjaya from being voted off "American Idol."

-Conan O'Brien

"Paul McCartney’s ex-wife Heather Mills says she’s not a gold digger. She’s very adamant: She’s not a gold digger. Only pirates dig for gold. It’s not like she’s got a parrot or an eye patch or . . .[motions toward his leg] "

-Craig Ferguson

Even though they weren't Christian jokes, they're still ok to laugh at.



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