Hilarious Christian Jokes



Here are a few more hilarious Christian jokes. These should have you rolling in the pews in no time.

While they may seem like hilarious Christian jokes to some, others may barely snicker. So it's all in the eye of the beholder. If you don't laugh, check out some of our other pages.

It’s All Relative

One day a man decided to get as close to God as he could. He thought climbing a mountain would be the best route to get there.

Once he reached the top of the mountain, he called out to God. To his amazement, God answered him loud and clear. With such an amazing opportunity to speak with God, he wanted to ask a few philosophical questions.

“God, how long is a million years to you?”

“It’s like a minute to you,” answered God.

“What does a million dollars mean to you?”

“It’s like a penny,” answered God.

The man replied, “Can I have a penny?”

The Lord answered, “In a minute.”


Ok...so that one may not fit in the category of hilarious Christian jokes, but maybe "mildly humorous Christian jokes." Check this one out.


The First Time

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth. A few days after creation, God called to Adam, “It’s time for you and Eve to start populating my beautiful creation. I want you to kiss her.”

“What’s a kiss Lord?” asked Adam. God then described it to Adam. Adam and Eve went behind a bush and a few seconds later, Adam emerged.

“That was great Lord,” responded Adam. “Thank you.”

“Great job Adam. Now I want you to make love,” said God.

“What’s that?” asked Adam. God then whispered some instructions in Adam’s ear. Adam then proceeded to take Eve back behind the bush. Three seconds later, he emerged from behind the bush again.

Adam asked, “God, what’s a headache?”


That one was closer to fitting in the category of hilarious Christian jokes. However, if that one didn't do it for you, I bet the next one will.


Time Flies

Joe dies and goes to heaven. Peter meets him at the pearly gates and says, "I'm not very busy today, why don't you let me show you around?"

Joe takes him up on the offer. Peter shows him all the sights, the golf course, the game room, the pool, the cafeteria and finally, they come to a MASSIVE room full of clocks.

Joe asks, "Why do you have so many clocks?"

Peter explains, "Every person on earth has a clock that represents how much time they have left on earth. When a clock runs out of time, the person dies and comes to the Gates to be judged."

Joe thinks that this makes sense, but notices some of the clocks are going faster than others. He asks Peter why this is.

Peter explains, "Every time a living person tells a lie, it speeds up their clock."

Joe takes one last look around the room and notices one clock in the center of the ceiling. On this clock, both hands are spinning at an unbelievable rate. So he asks, "Why is that clock on the ceiling like that?"

"Oh, that," St. Peter replies, "That's Bill Clinton’s clock. We decided to use it as a fan."


Hopefully these hilarious Christian jokes helped you smile at least a little today. Remember...laughter truly is the best medicine. Be sure to check out some of our other humor pages.


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